Day 112 Reporting – 2,024 Words/Day Process Log – People-ing

Copyright robynmac – Depositphotos

I don’t want to focus on self-publishing right now, but I can’t ignore it. I have to think of it as dessert or like a snack, but not the main vegetables, lean protein, starch carbs and fruit of my diet. Kind of like my weekly London Fog tea latte I make myself on Friday mornings to celebrate the end of the work week.

It still needs to happen. This isn’t a matter of not liking self-publishing, either. It’s fun tooling around with covers and writing marketing copy. The problem is that I haven’t made space for it. It’s not on the schedule and something that is not on the schedule does not get done.

It’s easy to say that when I’m at a different point in my journey, I’ll start then, but I’ve found that that isn’t true. I made that mistake with my health journey. I said the first year I would concentrate on getting my eating habits down, since I already liked to walk and honestly, cardio was never a problem. As a kid I swam and was a shot putter in the summer parks and rec program even though I was bad.

Side Note: Let’s give it up for the folks who keep youth sports programs going for folks who won’t even make the JV team in high school.

The problem with that thinking though is that now I’m in Year 2 and I still don’t want to people. That use of people as a verb is intentional. Fun is escaping into my own little world writing with my noise canceling headphones over my ears to keep out the birds twittering and  my 24 oz ALDI drinking up filled with ice water. Fun is exploring new-to-me parks. Fun is reading. Fun is going to the theater.

You know what isn’t fun? Surrounding myself with people at an activity when it’s obvious I’m the weakest link. I checked out the 10k training program last year by taking the virtual option. I observed who was a part of the group and participated in group calls. I wanted to get a feel for how they were.

No one wants to say that they don’t want to support someone who is improving their health. It sounds bad. But, if I’m walking an 18 minute mile and the rest of the group says on its website – all paces are welcome – but it actuality say that a 10-minute-mile pace is slow, then is a mismatch, it’s the wrong group for me.

And because people tend to lie to themselves to uphold a certain image, the only way to know what’s the truth is to actually be a part of the group.

I thought I’d solved this problem with my recon. But this year when I hesitated signing up, all my old insecurities came back even though I knew these folks specifically had a group for 18 – 20 minute/mile walkers. And I saw the pictures of folks participating in the in-person training sessions last year and they looked like me.

Look. Eventually, I clicked that Join button. What would have made it easier is if I had tested out walking groups last year instead of putting it off.

That’s the deal with self-publishing. I gotta find a way to establish a foundation, to put it on the schedule so that I can crank up the activity if necessary. Putting things off is not the way. Do it. Gather data. Adjust and repeat.

Keep moving forward. Keep getting better.

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As of Day 112, – 4/21/24

# of Words I Wrote/# of Words Written To Be on Track/Year Goal

186,834/ 226,688 / 740,784

About Irette Y Patterson

Irette Y Patterson is a writer of fantasy, science fiction, and romance. She has been published in FIYAH, Strange Horizons, Translunar Travelers Lounge and on the website of The Saturday Evening Post. When not writing, you can find her digging around in her garden or catching the latest musical in the theater.
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